Which is why I need to give you this test. (Typical girl, they say. Always with the tests.) Itβs easy though. I promise. And fun. Did I mention that it was fun?
Itβs kind of like a Rorschach test. Which is a test that psychologists use to gain insight into the inner psyches of their patients. However. I am not a doctor (yet). And so I have taken a bit of creative license with this test so that it better suits my current occupation (as an eater). I am going to show you a picture. This picture has food in it. You are going to tell me the first thing that comes to mind when you see the food.Β
Easy, right?
But wait. Thereβs a catch. You see. You are here, reading this. Therefore. You like food. And so I already know what you will say. Mmmm, lapin au vin. Looks delicious!
But who wants to sit around reading fifty versions of the same response? Not I.
So instead. For the sake of this little experiment. You will not be you. You will be a King Charles Spaniel. Named Nyoki (pronounced gnocchi). Who likes naps, sunsets, and long walks on the beach.
Ready? Go.
Please leave your witty, sassy, sarcastic, whatever-it-is-you-think-will-win-my-love-and-affection caption as a comment on this post by 9AM PST on Monday, April 19th.Β Enter as many captions as you want. I’ll select my favorite caption. The winner and I will be BFF for life. And youβll also get a bean sampler. Which, I have to say, is pretty darn good too.
Top Caption Announced!
If I were a little league coach.Β And you guys were my team.Β I would sit you down.Β Smile apologetically.Β And give you a really clichΓ©d and inspirational speech.Β Something along the lines of, βIn life.Β It doesnβt matter whether you win or lose.Β Itβs how you play the game.βΒ Or, better yet, βWhat doesnβt kill us, makes us stronger.Β So letβs all learn from our mistakes and try harder next time!βΒ Then I would pat you all on the back.Β Take you all out for ice cream.Β And everyone would go home with a plastic trophy in hand that would serve as a nice dust collector in the years to come.Β Happy.
However.Β In reality.Β I would not be that kind of coach. (Iβm more of a tough love kind of a gal.)Β And this isnβt that kind of softball game.
Β And so my pep talk goes something like this.Β In life.Β There are winners and there are losers.Β
And runners up.Β
There are also runners up (two, to be precise).Β
For example.Β In this case.Β Toni Hammer is a winner.Β Bob and Eric are runners up.
And the rest of you.Β Well.Β Thanks for playing.Β And.Β Um.Β Better luck next time!
(In all seriousness, thanks everyone for your entries.Β They were super fun to read and really hard to judge!)
Toni, Bob & Eric, step up to the podium to collect your goodies!Β Please send an e-mail to justin at marxfoods dot com with your full name and mailing address!Β ToniΒ gets the bean samplerβ¦Bob & Eric weβre sending you something tasty for your pantry.
Comments 109
“It probably has onions in it, so I wouldn’t like it anyway!”
Will they notice if I just have a teeny bite???
geez, cant I just have some kibbles and bits!
“They’re going to torture me with this food? I’m going to eat their shoes!”
Rabbitt? I hope they’re not planning gnocchi for dinner!
Will I have that “Cup of Chow” when my Karma runs over my ‘dog’ma??
“She takes a picture of everything SHE eats but I don’t see any of MY food photographed!”
“When was the last time she garnished MY plate with a sprig of dill!”
Is she really using *me* as a photography prop? This has gone too far!
“The cunning hunter stalks the rabbit.”
I am so bored with lapin au vin, coq au vin, you name it au vin –
“Should I tell them what I did to that lovely stew?”
“Why isn’t this look getting me food? This look always gets me food!”
These people don’t know the difference between sleeping and stalking. They leave the room and the rabbit’s mine.
Lions, cheetahs feh! The stalking crown is mine.
That camera strap looks yummy, I want to chew on it.
I love that they trust me. Mistakes happen.
I hate the war between good behavior and bad. A guy has needs.
mmmm, that looks good. Do you think anyone is watching?
The humans are eating again, might as well nap til walkies time.
Do you think they left that for me? I think they did… Maybe I will just wait for a minute…
“Is that a…boooone sticking out?! I love bones!”
Is this a test? WHY must I suffer the indignity of being controlled by my stomach?!
“I know that they would want me to have that…”
“Looks good, but I guess tastes bad”.
My captions-
1.”What’s that????”
2.”To taste or not to Taste”
3.”Looks tasty,but who knows how it will taste??”
right now this much..let me think more….this is really a very interesting fun…
“And I thought I wanted a bite, no thanks…I see green stuff!”
“That definitely looks better than the dog food they have been giving me”
“Selfish humans. They won’t even let me take a bite, yet they’re letting it get cold, spending hours trying to take a damn picture of it.”
OH, OH!! Look, food with a bone. MINE!! Time to practice my teleporting skills. and remember– “The Cat Did It”
Ha ha…Debbi really has me all giggly[besides hungry] here, dis one sure is garnished jus 4me!!!
Nyoki growls, “Ggrrrrrrr!” touch that, I dare you just touch that food and I shall personally put YOU on a leash and take you to the pound!”
“Hey! Leggo my leg-o!”
“Yo quiero conejo vino.”
“It puts the bowl upon the floor. It does this whenever it’s told.”
“It could have been mine. It should be mine! Give it to me!”
“Puchuuuuu.” (and now we have moved into truly obscure references)
“When she crossed over, she was just a bowl, but when she came back… she was full of rabbit. Look at her, Joanne. Isn’t… she… beautiful?”
“If I’m going to do this, I’ll need an unlimited supply of Xena tapes and rabbit legs. They help me think.”
“Nice shoes.”
“It shouldn’t harm me to take a BITE….. Because I am the one who Bites & not HIM”
“Oh! Fangs (thanks) a Lot!!! Now beware of ME!”
“Why are my hunger ‘FANGS’ tested???”
Ash….
(http://asha-oceanichope.blogspot.com/)
Poor Fluffy. I guess I’m next…
“I hope she doesn’t notice the seasoning I added after I stole that bite. It was a little bland.”
The second she turns her back, that rabbit stew is MINE! Wait for it…Wait for it… π
Two more –
“Will I get a timeout if I devour that curry in a hurry??”
“Bolt down the food N Bolt outta here”
LOL.. This is fun. Here comes mine..
1. Not again.. I have not recovered from your last experiment!
2. Why don’t you start loving animals and …..be nice to me?
3. Joanne: Dinner, Nyoki?
Nyoki: My choices?
Joanne: Yes and No
Nyoki thinks: I better not ask next time..
4. Don’t you again dare to serve me in the same plate in which Papi ate!!!
Sorry in advance…..
1. Now I wish I had not crapped on the rug!
2. Now I wish I had not humped moms leg.
3. I hope he remembered to deglaze the pan this time
4. The heck with this food, how do I get that dastardly Dachshund Buddy fired?
I no good at those spilled ink tests either.
“Don’t lure me with that tiny sleek bone *Nyoki turns eye to the left…staring at the rest of the real deal* …. we are all equal…but George Owell told me some animals are more equal than others…and so, I should have a PROPER share of this dish”
Must wait to the master walks outside to pick up my poop to jump on the coffee table and take that meat to the middle of my bed!!
No, I havent seen the cat – why?
“I’M GETTING READY TO RUMBLE”!!!
I think I’d prefer the bean sampler.
I hope the big people don’t notice my drool on their sofa UNTIL after they heap portion on top of my dinner bowl, which they know is the only way I’ll fathom eating any nasty dry dog food.
I’m on guard duty! BACK OFF, it’s mine!
“BEANS, BEANS THE MUSICAL FRUIT”. GOTTA GET EM BEFORE THE CAT DOES”!!!
I could be there and back in 5 seconds and she wouldn’t even know I had a bite.
” And I have to wait for everyone to be seated?”
” I think the Rosemary is a tad to earthy and it always gets lodged in my teeth”.
Whatever happened to plain old kibbles and bits?!?
If that bowl is here in two more minutes, someone is going to be the Biggest Loser.
Is that what you call Wild and Free In-Range??
Fricassee, I see, you see, I spy a bone. There’s got to be more meat in that dish, but that green thing sticking up makes me less hopeful I’ll get any of it…
I saw that Glenn Close/Michael Douglas movie on TV last week.
ahh i have a cavalier as well!! LOVE THEM!!
here’s my quote
“I’d lunge for that food, but this princess doesn’t lift a paw around here.”
whoops, just realized Nyoki is a boy!
let’s re-phrase
“I’d lunge for that food, but this prince doesn’t lift a paw around here.”
Sigh! The luxury of being a dog is that no one will ever make a stew out of you, but you can still stuff yourself with some good old rabbit stew π
“Darn it! I don’t care what they say I’m going to eat it anyway…..Have they left yet!”
“What am I, an animal? Where’s the fork?”
Oh sure, they get a fresh rosemary garnish. I get dry Kibbles and Bits.
Is this a test? How long do I have to feign an interest?
“No I don’t want your stupid human food”
“Let me compliment her good cooking by NOT being a good dog”
“Posing for this pic just can’t be it! She will notice my hungry puppy eyes soon”
“Cmmon, I have never had my food garnished. Just this one time!”
“Do I have time for a lick before she comes back?”
SAD TO STAY
“I wonder if it’s gluten free.”
Sure looks good! I bet I can eat that before she gets back with her fork!
1. This dish is out of my focus.. Sobs
2. How many time should I say this ‘Stop eating such luscious dish in front of me. Don’t you know I am on South Beach Diet’
“Ah, ambrosia. Food of the gods, er, I mean, dogs!”
CAN I EAT IT BEFOR ANYONE SEE’S ME
Is that a bird leg? Petey?! Calm. Calm. If I am quiet maybe they will spare me.
Although the food looks good, I must admit, I’m glad that she made the IMPORTANT part of the picture clear.
If I only had a tongue like a lizard I wouldn’t even have to move from the couch to score dinner.
TAKE 47 : *Picture snaps*
I’m a little tired of this, I’m ready for my walk. (And maybe a taste this time?)
I bet a bowl of Berger- Gruner Veltliner would be a nice crisp finish to this meal.
“Looks tasty, but what’s with the tree?”
Ok, I have a few…
“I thought they brought Salem to the vet… but this was a much better idea!”
“She will be mine… oh yes, she will be mine.”
“I picked the wrong day to become a vegetarian!”
You think that’ll be there when you turn around?
“Is my time-out over yet? I’m hungry.”
That looks like a wonderful meal to scarf down incredibly fast, get sick on, and vomit all over the laptop…. I think the warranty on it expired yesterday.
“I’ll let the cat try it first, if she lives…my turn!”
“If I lick the bowl clean, do you think they’ll notice?”
“I get it….this is a test!”
“That’s got to be better than the stuff they give me to eat!”
“If I don’t touch that bowl, what will you give me?”
“To eat or not to eat!”
“See, I have more self control than you do!”
“Will you still love me after I lick that bowl clean?”
Is that on my low carb diet?
If I were a helicopter, I could just fly over to that yummy stew. Alas, I am only a dog and a lazy one at that. I guess I’ll just keep napping.
*sigh* If only beans didn’t give my little tum tum such terrible gas …
OK…enough already!! Could you please stop with the clicking away so that I can be done with that bowl and go back to doing what I do best…you guessed it right!!! I do need to get my beauty zzzz’s!!!
” well, I wonder how long it would take me to make the jump to the table from the position I am in now”
“IF I DO I GET A LICKIN'”
“I bet if I casually walk on the coffee table no one will see me snag a bite”
Those Humans! I get dried, low quality dog food and they get Lapin Au Vin…
“And they think MY food looks like a dog’s breakfast???”
” Can I, dare I? Or I better not?”
I am going for it! I am already in trouble for napping on the couch….
“Hurry people! I have waited a week or more for you to make a caption out of me. And I really do NOT enjoy this. The aroma is killing me yet I can’t get to eat at this instant. I’m keeping my eyes wide open to “protect” my reward”. You get the beans, I get the dish. Deal.”
One little lick…they will never know!!
“You promised cheeseburger! All deals off. I can pee in boyfriends shoe again.”
Food! Food! Food! Nap! Food! Food! Food! Nap!
“Dear God, thank-you for the treats we are about to eat”.
Congrats to the winner and the runners up!
Awesome, thanks! Great contest. π
Congrats to the winners!
Hey Guys! That was fun.
Congrats to the winners! This was fun! π
Awww! Thanks!
The winner makes no sense what-so-ever. Please remove my name from your list.
“ok,no worries.. I just need to take my beeno first.”
“ok,no worries.. I just need to take my beeno first.”
no I haven’t said it..and if this is just a way to get my email..then that’s not nice
“Did they say don’t eat this or eat this?…. I’m thinking they want me to have it!”